How to Develop Confidence

Since January 2021 (it’s currently September 2022), I’ve been on a pretty aggressive ‘reclaim my health’ journey.

But it has turned into a. Journey of developing grit, more mental toughness, and greater confidence.

The confidence doesn’t look like what I normally think of as confidence.

It’s not the kind of confidence that takes over a room when I walk into it with my big old head held high and my shoulders back, acting like I own the joint.

Rather, it’s a confidence knowing that I can create a plan and stick to a plan and accomplish goals over time through consistent, continual action.

It’s a quiet confidence that I will get done what I say that I’ll get done. At minimum, it’s a confidence that comes from the fact that I’ve kept promises to myself for over a year, so I believe I can get done what I say I’ll get done.

I don’t always nail it, but I’m confident that I can.

See, before this past year and a half, I spent a lot of time bullshitting myself, pardon the language.

I’ve set goals. I’ve made pronouncements. I’ve committed to certain actions.

But then I’ve bailed. Folks have told me, ‘It’s okay. You’re fine. Don’t worry about it.’

Whether or not they believed what they were telling me is irrelevant. What I started noticing was that I started to NOT believe myself.

My confidence eroded bit by bit by bit through making commitments and promises to myself and failing to execute.

But over this past year, what I’ve learned is that confidence grows as we keep promises to ourselves. It grows even more when our promises or solely to ourselves and not announced to a ton of other people.

Accountability has its place, but the main key is to keep promises to yourself.

As you execute on your own plans – the ones you developed and committed to internally – your confidence grows.

That’s how you develop confidence. That’s how, even if you don’t own the room, you can walk into a room knowing that you deserve to be there.

Keep promises to yourself.

That’s how you develop confidence.

When you fail… definitely have some grace. But get back on the horse. Try a different approach. Experiment.

But you’ll find that as you learn what works to help you maintain your promises, you’ll grow your skill of confidence – because it is a skill and not a God-given trait.

Try it.

Make a small promise to yourself today around an area that you’ve been working to improve.

Keep that promise today.

Keep it again tomorrow.

String together a few weeks.

See how your confidence grows.

Pick a new promise.

Rinse. Repeat.

That’s what 75 Hard has done for me. It has helped me learn how to string days of promises to myself together, and almost accidentally develop greater confidence (among other things) than ever before.

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