How to Develop a Habit of Random Acts of Kindness

During Phase 3 of the LiveHard program (Google it), one of the daily tasks is to execute on a Random Act of Kindness (RAOK).

This has been one of the hardest parts of the program for me.

Not because I don’t want to be kind. I don’t mind that part.

It’s just not a part of my typical daily process. I don’t think to do anything that might be considered randomly kind.

As a matter of fact, one time I decided to do a chore that is normally left for my wife to do and to buy her flowers and go out of my way to fill her car up with gas.

Now, that might just seem like a thing a husband is supposed to do. Maybe.

But where my husbands at? We don’t all normally do all those things, right?

So I did them and when it snuck out that I considered their collective effort as fulfilling my task of a RAOK, my wife was like, “I don’t want to be just a box that you’re checking off.”

I understand her point, but I also disagree.

Especially if we want to develop new habits that are beneficial to ourselves and to those we love, the box to check is exactly where you have to start.

Doing RAOKs isn’t a habit for most people until it becomes a habit.

And habits don’t materialize out of thin air in most cases. Some folks are inclined toward certain things that are positive, but for the most part, the things that are good for us do not come naturally to us.

It’s really rigged in a weird way. I think that’s part of God’s mysterious plan to strengthen us over the years.

Forming the Habit

The way you for a habit is simple. Never or seldom easy. But simple.

You have a box to check.


And you daily take the time to do the thing and check the box.

You do that for as long as you have to in order to begin naturally gravitating toward doing that thing everyday.

I’m not quite there yet with my RAOKs.

But having that box to check during this Phase of the 75Hard program has helped me and created in me a desire to solidify they habit.

The Story of the Young Family at Target

Today, I was at Target and heard a young mom and dad speaking grace and encouragement and life into their two little toddlers. It was truly moving and sweet.

All I could think of was that they will reap the fruit of these seeds of life they’re speaking into these two children. It won’t always be obvious. But it will happen. The words and spirit of those words will take root.

So as they were packing their kiddos into their car, I just stopped by and said, “Hey…I just want you two to know how much I loved hearing the way you spoke to your little ones. I know it’s sometimes hard and difficult, but it’s powerful for them. And just be encouraged.”

It was simple. I would never have said anything if I didn’t have the box to check.

But the dad said, “You just made our Sunday.”

And I’m awesome. 🙂

Jokes aside, the truth is this: It was simple. It just took having an eye to see the opportunity and a willingness to actually say something.

So for whatever habit you’re trying to create, make a checkbox and string together the days.

And one more quick tip: Don’t try to do too many at once. One or two at a time, 75-90 days at a time, and you’ll be amazed how your life might change in a year!

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