Am I Who I’d Want Them to Be?

Every once in a while, I ask myself these two questions:

  • Am I the type of man I’d like my sons to be when they grow up?
  • Am I the type of man I’d be happy if my daughter married when she grows up?

In other words, am I a good example to my children of what a man should be?

To take it a step further, am I a good example to my children of what a Christian man should be?

Like you, I can be my own worst critic. So this question can be dangerous and lead to unnecessary navel-gazing.

That said, it’s a pretty good decision filter. It is also a pretty good way to decide which habits are worth building and which might not be so important.

If I make decisions….

…then it’s a safe bet I’m moving in the right direction. The key is to actually make that practice a habit.

Let me throw one more decision-making filter into the mix: Bring as much fun as possible into the mix.

The point is this: I don’t want to just teach my kids how to be decent adult humans. I want to be such a decent adult human that if they simply modeled after me, they’d end up fine.

It’s worth taking a bit of time every once in a while to check yourself to see if you like how you’re handling yourself and if it’s how you’d hope your little ones will handle themselves in the future.

For a much better discussion of this idea of leading yourself, check out Andy Stanley’s sermon “The American in the Mirror”

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1 comment

  1. Good post, Brett. If we lead from our heart, we can never go wrong. Doing this requires getting out of our heads and into our feelings. Being emotionally connected to ourselves (and as an extension to those around us) is of utmost importance. For me, I have to take time twice a day to realign with my heart (I do this through meditation).

    On a similar topic, children feel authenticity…. so acting the “right way” when we dont feel this way could be confusing for them. With my own children, I explain when I feel angry or sad that I am these things and that they dont need to do anything with it….that Im taking care of it for myself. But it helps keep things real and helps understand whats happening.

    I do think these pulse checks are important….as for navel gazing…I quite like doing that 🙂


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